Pretending

Growing up I was painfully shy but I wanted to be outgoing and extroverted. In high school and my 20’s I practiced and practiced and fooled people into thinking I was an extrovert. I don’t like doing that anymore and now finally I am embracing my true awkward, introverted self. So get ready to be extremely uncomfortable if you try talking to me.

The Goat Man

My favorite news story comes from July 2012, when the goat man was spotted in the mountains of northern Utah. For several days I intensely followed the story that made national news. The witness who spotted the goat man said he “thought it was a deformed goat” because “it was clumsy, not nimble.” The story got better when it was reported that wildlife officials received an anonymous call from an “agitated man”, demanding they “leave goat man alone. He’s done nothing wrong.” The whole thing was wild. It was eventually found out that the goat man was a hunter, trying out his homemade goat suit. It was all very funny at the time. Thank you goat man. I’ll never forget you.

Badger & Skinny Pete

I really want to visit Albuquerque New Mexico because of Breaking Bad.

I’m not sure when I’m supposed to start my mid-life crisis because I don’t know how long I’m going to live for.

If I live to be 100, then I have some time.

If I only live to be 60 then I need to get started right away.

60 or 100, my only choices.

Ideas for mid-life crisis:

1. become leader of the desert creatures

2. sell drugs. I probably won’t do that.

Krum & Flossie

Krum and I both have butt chins. His is hidden deep within his beard. Mine is exposed. Sometimes I call Krum a Tinker Fairy because he is very good at fixing, building and creating things. I am talented at anxiety and cleaning.

I wear socks at all times

Being barefoot is nearly unbearable for me. It’s torture. I am currently barefoot because I painted my toenails black. It’s illogical to paint my toenails when I wear socks literally at all times. Even in water. The irony is that my last name means “barefoot” in another language.

Black nail polish is the only color I own due to my secret aspiration to be more gothic and/or emo.

Currently listening to: my favorite mariachi music.